I think I died a long time ago.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
