As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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