Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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