By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Randomize
