After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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