hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
