He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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