Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
