this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
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