Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
