I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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