Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
