in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize