hotel room ftw
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
