Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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