i need an iv and a liver transplant
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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