So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
