I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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