My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
