i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
