Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My life is pants optional.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
