i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness