did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
