remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
