i just google imaged poop.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
