Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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