So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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