Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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