When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
