He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i think i have two assholes
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
