I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize