apparently the secret to your success is patron
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
