I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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