lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
