Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
