Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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