if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
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He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
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Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
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