i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I am mentally ready for anal.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
