am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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