yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Are we still banned from the library?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
