Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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