He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
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Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize