I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize