Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
