porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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