I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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