the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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