Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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