This girl is more easily done than said...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
