Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
there is glitter all over my balls
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
