i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
