Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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