...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
