Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
