I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
