Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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