You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
