I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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