your parents love me but you hate me
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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