This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
