saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
