finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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